Tribute to Vera
Here is the Tribute that Toby and Robbie read at Vera's memorial service:
Toby:
My mother was a loving, caring person, who filled many hearts with joy, as I can see from the many people who have chosen to gather here today to remember her. She was a great mother, and a terrific friend. The sudden loss of such a beautiful person, at such a young age, fills all our hearts with sorrow. It is easy to focus our energy on being angry over how unfair and unjust her loss is. This is not healthy, however, and it is not what my mother would have wanted – not when there are so many things in the world that we can change, so many injustices we can undo.
There are many great people in the world – leaders and visionaries come to mind who dedicate their lives to improving the world and helping others. My mother may not have been an activist or a world leader, but she improved the world in her own way. Her love and energy were a light in so many people’s lives, and this, above all else, is what she will be remembered for.
Robbie:
Author C.S. Lewis once said: “People do not have a soul. Rather, people are a soul and have a body.” While my Mom’s body has lost her battle with cancer, her soul will live on through all of you here. Those of us she has touched with her love, wisdom, and caring; we will all be better people as a result of knowing her.
Toby:
Vera and her twin sister Verna were born in 1955 on the small island of Twillingate off the coast of Newfoundland to Charles and Minnie Stockley. She, along with her sister and four brothers lead a typical life in Newfoundland with all its joys and struggles.
Vera married my father, Gary White, at a young age and became a mother to us both. She was always a bright light in the lives of her family. I remember my childhood fondly, and if there were hardships, I was well-shielded from them. Vera was an incredible mother. She raised and cared for us and taught us many things. She ensured that we always believed we could achieve our dreams.
Robbie:
My mother was the most selfless person I knew; she always had time to help someone else, offer her advice, or just chat. As a mom, she was always patient, understanding, and always there when I needed her. She could always tell what I was feeling, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. As a child she would always seem to know what I needed, and similarly she always knew when I had gotten into trouble, even when I thought there was no one around to see it. This did not change as I grew up and set out on my own. Whenever she stopped by to see me she would have something I needed, whether it was a hug, a funny story, or just some groceries. More often than not she would come up with some way to keep me preoccupied so that she could attempt to clean my house without my knowledge. Even in her final days, my Mom was more concerned about the wellbeing of those around her than herself.
I’ve thought long and hard over the past week to try and determine what my favourite memory of my Mom is, but there are just too many to choose from. Such things like how we would always go grocery shopping together, lay in bed and watch 20/20 on Friday nights, when we painted my apartment one Valentine’s Day, and when she brought home my first Nintendo are just a sample. I’m sure you all have great memories of her and I hope you will never forget them.
Toby:
My mother was always proud of us – but we are even more proud of her. For many years she had to work outside the home, before it was standard for mothers to do so, yet she never neglected her children. She took care of us when Dad had to leave town to look for work. Looking back I know times were tough then, but I certainly didn’t know it at the time. We lead an incredibly happy life.
My mother supported her family when the difficult decision was made to move to Alberta, leaving behind friends, family, and a way of life. It did not take long for her light to shine into the lives of those in her new home, however. She made friends immediately and there was much love around our house.
In Strathmore my mother’s light shone even more brightly. From day one she entered the lives of people who will never forget her. In my mother’s mind there was little distinction between friends and family and her love was felt by many. The light of my mother’s life did not just touch the lives of family and friends, but all those that had even the briefest encounters with her. My mother worked at the drug store here for many years, and even after I left for university I heard about everything that happened in town because of her. Customers and coworkers, and - often to my chagrin – my schoolmates knew her well.
One memory that stands out in my mind is from shortly after I graduated from high school. A young girl from the High School had been diagnosed with cancer, and a huge fundraiser was initiated. People offered up their hair to raise money for cancer research, and many people paid a pretty penny for the chance to see my mother lose hers. Well, the money was raised and my mom was shaved clean in front of a roaring gymnasium. Now, let me tell you, if there’s anything more intimidating than an angry mother, it is an angry mother with a buzz-cut.
Robbie:
Toby mentioned how proud we were of our mother. At a point in life where most women are well-settled into their lives, my mother took the kind of risk she had taught us not to fear. She quit her job and went to work as a renovator. Toby always enjoyed telling his friends his mom was a construction worker. Unfortunately I did not tell my mom often enough how proud I was of her. It was one of the last things that I told her, and I hope she knew how much I meant it.
Mom took joy from the simple things in life. Her best friend Theresa recalls how she, Sharon, Deanne, and my mom would go for club house sandwiches and fries once a month at the Co-Op cafeteria. They observed 4 older ladies doing the same and joked that that would be them in 20 years. After lunch they would visit friends at Macdonald Clothing, Valu Drug Mart, and Katherine’s. My mom loved this town and the people in it. After visiting they would go grocery shopping and inevitably Sharon would be squeezing all the loaves of bread trying to find the softest. My mom would grab a loaf and yell, “Ok Sharon, this is the softest!” On they would go for tea at one of their houses. I know the girls will miss such simple pleasures.
It was just two short months ago that my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Her light continued to shine despite the news, however. She attended my convocation and was very proud that I, like Toby, graduated university – almost as proud as she was that I actually got a job.
Toby:
My mother was bound and determined to defeat her disease. The lives my mother’s light touched did not forget her. Instantly a huge support group sprang up around her – including family, friends, and even acquaintances and strangers. Members of the Strathmore community such as Pastor Dawn and the staff at Homecare sprang to service. In a particularly touching moment, a prayer group was arranged to visit Mom at home. When they arrived Mom was surprised to find that one of the cancer survivors that came to pray for her was none other than the young girl for whom she had shaved her head to raise money years ago.
There was an even more joyous event for my mother in the days following her diagnosis. On June fourth she married Jack Duffy in a small ceremony at home. Few others know of my Mom’s light like Jack and it shone brightly that day.
The most important thing in the world to Mom was people. One day her best friend Theresa, her husband Brian and daughter Amanda came to visit my Mom in the hospital. My Mom was told that Brian and Theresa would be bringing a surprise. They arrived with a steak dinner for Mom and Jack, and Amanda brought her a scrapbook she had made to celebrate my Mom’s life. That night Mom wrote in her journal about how great it was to get her surprise – Amanda. You see, the greatest gifts for my mom were not material things, but the company of those she loved. And the greatest gift my mom gave was the one she gave Amanda that day – the gift of love and appreciation.
My brother and I, Jack, my Dad, and many other family members and friends spent a lot of time in the hospital with my mom. Although we all know how brightly her light shone, even we were taken aback by the strength she showed in the face of her illness. Even the doctors and nurses marveled at how positive she was, and how she fought with such strength and bravery. Tragically, it was a fight she could not win.
Robbie:
We are here today not just to mourn, but to celebrate my mother’s life. Mom would be so happy to see us all together today, and to know that each and every one of us still feels her light shining into our hearts. I will miss her more than words can explain, but I will never forget my memories of her. She will certainly not be forgotten, and I hope someday that Toby and I can pass on all the love and wisdom she provided us onto our children.
Toby:
If my mom could give you a message today, it would be this: Just as you are here today celebrating her, celebrate all your family and friends. Don’t let the little things in life get in the way of the important things. You will never regret a moment spent with the people you care about. My mom’s light made the world a better place, and if you heed her advice, her light will continue shining.
Toby:
My mother was a loving, caring person, who filled many hearts with joy, as I can see from the many people who have chosen to gather here today to remember her. She was a great mother, and a terrific friend. The sudden loss of such a beautiful person, at such a young age, fills all our hearts with sorrow. It is easy to focus our energy on being angry over how unfair and unjust her loss is. This is not healthy, however, and it is not what my mother would have wanted – not when there are so many things in the world that we can change, so many injustices we can undo.
There are many great people in the world – leaders and visionaries come to mind who dedicate their lives to improving the world and helping others. My mother may not have been an activist or a world leader, but she improved the world in her own way. Her love and energy were a light in so many people’s lives, and this, above all else, is what she will be remembered for.
Robbie:
Author C.S. Lewis once said: “People do not have a soul. Rather, people are a soul and have a body.” While my Mom’s body has lost her battle with cancer, her soul will live on through all of you here. Those of us she has touched with her love, wisdom, and caring; we will all be better people as a result of knowing her.
Toby:
Vera and her twin sister Verna were born in 1955 on the small island of Twillingate off the coast of Newfoundland to Charles and Minnie Stockley. She, along with her sister and four brothers lead a typical life in Newfoundland with all its joys and struggles.
Vera married my father, Gary White, at a young age and became a mother to us both. She was always a bright light in the lives of her family. I remember my childhood fondly, and if there were hardships, I was well-shielded from them. Vera was an incredible mother. She raised and cared for us and taught us many things. She ensured that we always believed we could achieve our dreams.
Robbie:
My mother was the most selfless person I knew; she always had time to help someone else, offer her advice, or just chat. As a mom, she was always patient, understanding, and always there when I needed her. She could always tell what I was feeling, no matter how hard I tried to hide it. As a child she would always seem to know what I needed, and similarly she always knew when I had gotten into trouble, even when I thought there was no one around to see it. This did not change as I grew up and set out on my own. Whenever she stopped by to see me she would have something I needed, whether it was a hug, a funny story, or just some groceries. More often than not she would come up with some way to keep me preoccupied so that she could attempt to clean my house without my knowledge. Even in her final days, my Mom was more concerned about the wellbeing of those around her than herself.
I’ve thought long and hard over the past week to try and determine what my favourite memory of my Mom is, but there are just too many to choose from. Such things like how we would always go grocery shopping together, lay in bed and watch 20/20 on Friday nights, when we painted my apartment one Valentine’s Day, and when she brought home my first Nintendo are just a sample. I’m sure you all have great memories of her and I hope you will never forget them.
Toby:
My mother was always proud of us – but we are even more proud of her. For many years she had to work outside the home, before it was standard for mothers to do so, yet she never neglected her children. She took care of us when Dad had to leave town to look for work. Looking back I know times were tough then, but I certainly didn’t know it at the time. We lead an incredibly happy life.
My mother supported her family when the difficult decision was made to move to Alberta, leaving behind friends, family, and a way of life. It did not take long for her light to shine into the lives of those in her new home, however. She made friends immediately and there was much love around our house.
In Strathmore my mother’s light shone even more brightly. From day one she entered the lives of people who will never forget her. In my mother’s mind there was little distinction between friends and family and her love was felt by many. The light of my mother’s life did not just touch the lives of family and friends, but all those that had even the briefest encounters with her. My mother worked at the drug store here for many years, and even after I left for university I heard about everything that happened in town because of her. Customers and coworkers, and - often to my chagrin – my schoolmates knew her well.
One memory that stands out in my mind is from shortly after I graduated from high school. A young girl from the High School had been diagnosed with cancer, and a huge fundraiser was initiated. People offered up their hair to raise money for cancer research, and many people paid a pretty penny for the chance to see my mother lose hers. Well, the money was raised and my mom was shaved clean in front of a roaring gymnasium. Now, let me tell you, if there’s anything more intimidating than an angry mother, it is an angry mother with a buzz-cut.
Robbie:
Toby mentioned how proud we were of our mother. At a point in life where most women are well-settled into their lives, my mother took the kind of risk she had taught us not to fear. She quit her job and went to work as a renovator. Toby always enjoyed telling his friends his mom was a construction worker. Unfortunately I did not tell my mom often enough how proud I was of her. It was one of the last things that I told her, and I hope she knew how much I meant it.
Mom took joy from the simple things in life. Her best friend Theresa recalls how she, Sharon, Deanne, and my mom would go for club house sandwiches and fries once a month at the Co-Op cafeteria. They observed 4 older ladies doing the same and joked that that would be them in 20 years. After lunch they would visit friends at Macdonald Clothing, Valu Drug Mart, and Katherine’s. My mom loved this town and the people in it. After visiting they would go grocery shopping and inevitably Sharon would be squeezing all the loaves of bread trying to find the softest. My mom would grab a loaf and yell, “Ok Sharon, this is the softest!” On they would go for tea at one of their houses. I know the girls will miss such simple pleasures.
It was just two short months ago that my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Her light continued to shine despite the news, however. She attended my convocation and was very proud that I, like Toby, graduated university – almost as proud as she was that I actually got a job.
Toby:
My mother was bound and determined to defeat her disease. The lives my mother’s light touched did not forget her. Instantly a huge support group sprang up around her – including family, friends, and even acquaintances and strangers. Members of the Strathmore community such as Pastor Dawn and the staff at Homecare sprang to service. In a particularly touching moment, a prayer group was arranged to visit Mom at home. When they arrived Mom was surprised to find that one of the cancer survivors that came to pray for her was none other than the young girl for whom she had shaved her head to raise money years ago.
There was an even more joyous event for my mother in the days following her diagnosis. On June fourth she married Jack Duffy in a small ceremony at home. Few others know of my Mom’s light like Jack and it shone brightly that day.
The most important thing in the world to Mom was people. One day her best friend Theresa, her husband Brian and daughter Amanda came to visit my Mom in the hospital. My Mom was told that Brian and Theresa would be bringing a surprise. They arrived with a steak dinner for Mom and Jack, and Amanda brought her a scrapbook she had made to celebrate my Mom’s life. That night Mom wrote in her journal about how great it was to get her surprise – Amanda. You see, the greatest gifts for my mom were not material things, but the company of those she loved. And the greatest gift my mom gave was the one she gave Amanda that day – the gift of love and appreciation.
My brother and I, Jack, my Dad, and many other family members and friends spent a lot of time in the hospital with my mom. Although we all know how brightly her light shone, even we were taken aback by the strength she showed in the face of her illness. Even the doctors and nurses marveled at how positive she was, and how she fought with such strength and bravery. Tragically, it was a fight she could not win.
Robbie:
We are here today not just to mourn, but to celebrate my mother’s life. Mom would be so happy to see us all together today, and to know that each and every one of us still feels her light shining into our hearts. I will miss her more than words can explain, but I will never forget my memories of her. She will certainly not be forgotten, and I hope someday that Toby and I can pass on all the love and wisdom she provided us onto our children.
Toby:
If my mom could give you a message today, it would be this: Just as you are here today celebrating her, celebrate all your family and friends. Don’t let the little things in life get in the way of the important things. You will never regret a moment spent with the people you care about. My mom’s light made the world a better place, and if you heed her advice, her light will continue shining.
posted by Robbie | 9:37 AM
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